My encounter with Jesus Christ.

In 2009, Jesus Christ set me free from demonic oppression which manifested in my life as depression, anxiety, various addictions (porn, masturbation, drugs, smoking) lust, sexual perversion, and the insatiable compulsion to impress others--just to name a few. My life was completely changed after that point, and I am no longer the person that I used to be. All heaviness and misery left when Jesus Christ entered my life.

We are enslaved by sin (sometimes because of our parents but always due to our human condition), and we cannot free ourselves, but sin separates us from God nevertheless. Ask Jesus the Messiah to reveal Himself to you, and to change you today! When you have the right-standing with God, through Jesus, you have joy and peace that come from within and are not dependent on outside influences. You will not be set free by claiming religion or church attendance. Instead, go on your knees and in sincerity of heart cry out to Jesus for salvation and restoration. He will set you free, but you have to commit yourself to His ways, to do His will and not your own.

Listen to the Holy Spirit in your conscience. DO NOT IGNORE THAT SMALL VOICE. People have come to depend on various forms of distractions such as entertainment or medications to NUMB that 'nagging symptom' which is most often associated with depression. Take my advice and warning.
I love you all, and that is why I share this.
May Jesus bless you all!
Seek the truth!
Vadim Lazarev

Are You Sure You Belong to Christ?

I still remember vividly the first days after Jesus Christ revealed Himself to me and how that changed my life. I distinctly recall riding on the bus to Northridge from West Hollywood to help restore an old Model A as a side job, and trying to rationalize what had happened. My whole world was figuratively turned upside down because everything I had come to understand as a 24-year old (up to that point), was incomplete and misguided. Above all the questions and confusion in my mind, the most prominent and sobering sense was my new awareness of Jesus' presence with me. This new discernment of the perfection and holiness of Jesus Christ and the Father God was riveting to such an extent that I was afraid to go on sinning and living the way I had done before.
That is God's expectation for all who come to Him through Jesus Christ, i.e., to stop enjoying the filth of the mainstream society which leads to emptiness and spiritual death, and instead to become like Jesus Christ by being obedient to the Father God's will. A continual interaction and relationship with Yeshua (Jesus in hebrew) the Messiah will nurture your desire to seek out the truth and to do the right thing. He will impart knowledge but He will also discipline those who are willing to work for the Father's Kingdom.
I said all of this to state the following: if coming to Christ has not caused a fundamental shift in your thinking and behavior, if the Spirit that is in you is not offended by violence and pornography of the subcultural entertainment industries as well as their blatant mainstream spin-offs, and finally, if you haven't traded religious doctrines, ceremonies, Churchianity, and indoctrination for a personal and intimate relationship with Jesus Christ, you might have just not been given a new spiritual birth after all, or you might have received it, but have traded it in for the comfort, acceptance, and popularity in this age of reason.
Much love to all as always.
Vadim Lazarev.

The Only Way to Live.

You will not be born again without genuine weeping and a realization that your broken, sinful human-nature can only be healed by Jesus Christ. Unless you are ready to tearfully bare all of your past guilt and shame before Him, and are committed to change, He can only wait. But His forgiveness is transforming, and your brokenness is a gateway to completeness, peace, and a restful conscience. Start over, but this time with Christ as your guide. If you wait in His presence, wherever you are, you will know which actions you will need to take. Peace will radiate from within you—you will no longer have to rely on temporary distractions to fill the void. Run to Him.
Much love to all as always.
Vadim Lazarev.

The Reason Behind Depression, Anxiety, Emptiness, and Brokenness.

If you are feeling empty inside, frustrated, and it seems that you have no purpose in life, be certain of this: what you are experiencing is a sign to you, from within, that there is more to life than what you've been led to believe. Count yourself truly blessed to be interrupted from the hustle of scripted reality and the vanity of the mainstream world, to realize that you are, at this time, spiritually tuned in to God's Spirit, which is calling out to you and trying to get your attention. The Spirit of God yearns to show you the true satisfaction and deep peace which originate from a relationship with God Himself and His Son Jesus, who is God's Messiah to the people. Invite Jesus into your life. (No, really, try it!) Allow Him to renew you and to take away all the misery, shame, neglect, and pain. If you truly want restoration and right standing with God today, open yourself up to God, turn back from the things that you know are displeasing to God. Turn your back on those self-willed things and embrace a new life, filled with inner joy that will flow from within.
This is what happened to me in 2009. My life was changed with one desperate plea to God.
There is only one permanent cure for the emptiness inside of you. That cure is Jesus Christ.
Ask Him to reveal Himself to you. Remember, though that religion itself cannot transform you.
This is how I received joy and right standing with God, and now, God is reaching out to you as well. Do not ignore that tiny voice of truth within you.
Vadim Lazarev

Nobody is born a Christian.

He took away my depression, anxieties, and even hypoglycemia. He changed my entire life. I went from being a hellbent psychobilly to a follower of Christ. He took away my perverted mindset and addiction to lust. For the first time in my life I was filled with genuine joy. If you want proof, you can meet Him personally. That's the only way. RELIGION CAN'T save you or help you, only ROB and BRAINWASH you. Sincerely ask Jesus to reveal Himself to you. He is the only one who can save you from Hell. It is serious.

To be a christian does not mean growing up in a religious home or being indoctrinated into a group or a fellowship. Christianity is not limited to reading your BIBLE and going to CHURCH. Being a christian means meeting Jesus Christ for real, being changed by Him, and then following His guidance from then on. This is something that nobody can take away from you. Most "christians" never experienced this and are sadly perishing, while thinking they are "saved and sealed."

If you have the mind of Christ, it's impossible to enjoy the same things that the rest of the world does. Smoking, getting drunk, drugging, worldy entertainment: you can't be part of it and part of the body of Christ. If you enjoy those things, it's simply impossible to bear good fruit. All of those things grieve the Holy Spirit and if you claim that you are also filled with the Holy Spirit, you would be grieved as well!

Please seek Jesus Christ. Go to a quiet place and ask Him to reveal Himself to you. Make sure He is pleased with you, because He will say to many on that day "I never knew you; DEPART FROM ME, YOU WHO PRACTICE LAWLESSNESS."

Time is really short. I never thought I'd be saying that. Wow.

Vadim Lazarev.

Obtaining a Highest Degree of Freedom.

We all want to attain greater autonomy and independence.
I found out from experience that the highest degree of freedom, is the freedom from the endemic sinful nature. In other words, it is the capacity to rationally choose which actions we perform, unhindered and uncoerced. What most do not realize is that inherently, our actions, desires, and even thoughts are affected by the sinful nature common to all humans.

The hardest thing for you to realize will be that you NEED to be set free from that sinful nature.. But how can you, if you are NOT even consciously aware that your behavior and personality is affected by something that you have no control over?

Commit to learning the truth, but keep in mind that it is not an intellectual pursuit. Pride is our biggest obstacle. Once you realize that you want to know the greater truth of life and be set free by it, it is made possible by calling out to Jesus Christ. Freedom is the consequence of right standing with God's Messiah, Jesus Christ.
I've experienced it, and now I am sharing this amazing gift with you.
Ask God to confirm these things to you, to reveal Himself to you, and to guide you into all truth. Be patient and determined.
Vadim Lazarev

Intrusive Thoughts: Losing Control to Something Else.

There is a growing number of people who experience a disorder known as “intrusive thoughts.” As the name implies, the disorder is characterized by unwanted and unyielding thoughts / impulses ranging from inappropriate to violent in nature. In general, our thoughts as we perceive them, can have three distinct origins: our own mind / conscience; God / Holy Spirit / Jesus Christ; and also other spiritual entities (and this is where the struggle with intrusive thought disorder lies). These entities are known as demons or fallen angels, but can reveal themselves as radiant / light beings, spiritual / ascended guides, or (this may shock you) aliens--these are not extraterrestrial beings that they are often portrayed as, but actually intradimensional ones.

If you experience these conditions (or related ones such as depression, sleep paralysis, tourette syndrome, Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), etc.), you can be set free by the spiritual authority of Jesus Christ. Lord Jesus Christ allowed me to experience what it felt like to have unwanted and manipulative thoughts for a short period some years ago when I would write letters or take notes. I would be interrupted by thoughts such as what would happen if my head would plop down or jerk forward onto the pen I was using to write with, and what that would do to one of my eyes. I had to start putting big eraser tops on the pens just to ease my mind. These were very disturbing and irrational thoughts, very unlike my usual analytical self.

When things get too much to handle on your own, cry out to Jesus Christ to help you, and He will. If you call on Him in all honesty and ask Him to set you free from oppression, He will. I know this because when I was really desperate and had dangerous thoughts, depression, and anxieties 5 years ago, somebody told me about Jesus Christ. I was told how he sets free from our human sinful nature and gives restoration. I cried out to Jesus in repentance and I told Him that if my miserable life was worth anything to Him that He could have it. You know what happened when I did that? My life completely changed. I got a spiritual awareness of Jesus Christ and that He is real, and that He is the only way to Father God. All emptiness, anxieties, ravenous sexual impulses, and nasty addictions disappeared from that day. He put such a great amount of joy into me that sometimes I catch myself smiling at complete strangers because my heart overflows with peace and I am thankful for being given a new start. This was a pretty big change for me. So what I'm saying is this, go to Jesus directly. Don't go to a church or become part of some religion. When Jesus changes you (and you know it for yourself) don't follow other people, but follow Jesus Christ on a personal, intimate level. Get baptized in water by a fellow believer in Christ. Ask God for a Baptism of the Holy Spirit that Jesus promised to all of His followers. Jesus is gentle and He gives rest to those who genuinely seek Him. He will set you free and you will be restored.

Enjoy His peace, but also get ready to spiritually fight to keep your peace, because the enemy of mankind does not give up easily:
"The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." 2 Corinthians 10:4-5

Spiritual entities might still have the right to attack your peace and thoughts for whatever reason: There are many ways that people unknowingly initiate spiritual contact with these entities and allow them access into their life; this can be anything from having ungodly music or movies, to having certain new age or occultic symbols in your house. Jesus Christ will set you free and afterwards you will have power over the inappropriate thoughts. After you have been set free it is your responsibility to keep your mind unpolluted and to obey Christ.

Much love, thanks for hearing me out!
Vadim Lazarev.

Only a few Christians choose to follow Jesus Christ.

Religious Christianity is so concerned with membership & attendance, that it collectively forgot the words of Jesus to the believers:

“Strive hard to enter the narrow gate, for I say to you, many shall seek to enter and they shall not be able” (Luke 13:24 ), and also, “Let no man deceive you by any means: for that day shall not come, except there come a falling away first, and that man of sin be revealed, the son of perdition” ( 2 Thessalonians 2:3). There will never be many true followers of Jesus Christ, regardless of the number of religious “Christians” out there.

“You adulterers! Don't you realize that friendship with the world makes you an enemy of God? I say it again: If you want to be a friend of the world, you make yourself an enemy of God” ( James 4:4). Unfortunately, this is exactly where the watered-down mainstream Christianity has found itself today—pleasing the world, but offensive to Jesus Christ. If Jesus Christ dwells in you by Spirit, then you can NOT be a part of such compromising organization. Instead, you must know Jesus Christ directly through revelation and through life changing transformation. To do that, one must go to Jesus in desperation, brokenness, and realization of guilt (sin), and nothing short of that state of mind will be acceptable to Him. If you are not at that stage, ask Jesus Christ to show you where you stand; ask Him to show you how He sees your life; ask Him to reveal Himself to you.

I am here to remind everyone to not fool themselves into complacency, because Jesus Christ will tell many bible believing, church/mass/liturgy attending, tithing, feast observing Christians, to: “Get away from [Him], you who practice evil” (Matthew 7:23)! These people will say, “Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, and in Your name cast out demons, and in Your name perform many miracles?”( Matthew 7:22) but the response will not change. “Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God. Such were some of you; but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God.” (1 Corinthians 6 9-11).

Has Jesus Christ set you free, and enabled you to overcome sin and demonic manipulation? We are all born into the sinful human nature, but only a few plead Jesus Christ to set them free and make them His!

Much love to all!
Vadim Lazarev.

Homosexuality and Gender Dysphoria.

I was born with an unusually overactive sex drive. My earliest memory is of me humping a pillow, no joke. Sex is all I thought about while growing up and into early adulthood. As time went on, I was living a kind of a wild but unfulfilled life. In spite of everything I had, I was empty, full of anxiety and mostly miserable inside. Of course you couldn't tell just by looking. At the lowest point of my life, I called out to Jesus Christ. I told Him to take charge of my life if it was worth anything to Him, to change me, because I was so sick of everything. I hated myself. And when I was praying, and crying on my knees, He did changed me. I mean, just about everything about me changed from then on. My addiction to porn & sex just vanished the next morning. Other addictions too, drugs, smoking, were gone too. (Note: Addiction to masturbation drastically decreased, but it took almost 10 years to be removed completely). I no longer had anxiety restrict my breathing when walking by strangers on the street. I received a new awareness of God's presence and holiness, what is pleasing to Him, and what is not, ie, sinful. I could sense how He made me into a new individual. I started seeing people from a new perspective. Even to this day, I have a tendency to smile at complete strangers because Jesus Christ fills me with amazing joy. You see, when we come to Jesus Christ and plead Him to change us and make us a new creation, He does. "So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed" (John 8:26). I can't emphasize it enough how profound this change was, this new purity that He has given me. I was the last person to deserve it. He has given me the power to overcome sin (and the sinful human nature), that is, to no longer be controlled by sin (and the sinful human nature). I've said all this just to say this: Homosexuality has a spiritual influence, just like the spiritual influences which DEFINED me from my childhood.

Some people feel uncomfortable with their gender and they become convinced of these things early in their childhood. The cause is at least partially spiritual and it's time we know the truth. Various types of demons manipulate people into homosexuality, gender reassignment, depression, phobias, addiction, violence, suicide, etc, but Jesus can set anyone free. (Don't believe me? Check out countless testimonies from people who actually LIVED those lifestyles, and have experienced change/deliverance.) The good news is that if you feel empty and are seeking to feel complete, Jesus Christ will accept you with arms wide open. But it takes a complete surrender to God--the breaking down of our intrinsic human pride and self will. Only when we can put Jesus Christ above our selves, in His rightfull position, does He accept us and completely change us inside and we can know it for a fact.

I had to leave everything behind in order to follow Jesus Christ.. my friends, my lifestyle, psychobilly, rockabilly.. so many things. If we want to be transformed by Jesus, we have to let go of our pride and our self reliance. Being a "GOOD" person means absolutely nothing. You have to follow Jesus Christ and you have to obey Him. "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me" (Matthew 16:24). Being a "Christian" means absolutely nothing, because Jesus said "Many will say to Me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, and in Your name cast out demons, and in Your name perform many miracles?' "And then I will declare to them, 'I never knew you; DEPART FROM ME, YOU WHO PRACTICE LAWLESSNESS'" (Matthew 7:23). "Why do you call me, 'Lord, Lord,' and do not do what I say" (Luke 6:46)?

Being religious, a church-goer, or bible-student means very little. What matters is being in a direct relationship with Jesus Christ, being led by Him (and not people), and being pleasing to Him. God expects us to be holy, to repent of our ways and our sins.
Jesus Christ is still the only way to the Father God. Much love to all.
Vadim Lazarev

Homosexuality and Christianity.

I never imagined that there is a right way to live, and a way that is actually harmful to oneself. Of course there's the obvious stuff: you shouldn't drink, do drugs, or smoke--otherwise you will watch your liver, brain, and lungs disintegrate before its time. You shouldn't be rude, shouldn't steal. Basic stuff. As long as it didn't directly hurt others, it was permitted in my book. I thought relationships should be between two (or more) willing partners, even if it's just for a night. I lived by these rules, and broke them freely.

All that changed when I met Jesus Christ, the Jewish Messiah, in 2009. Yeah, He's real. I cried out to Him, and He completely changed who I am as well as my understanding of the world. Only at that point did I come to a shocking realization of how God actually sees our behavior. He is so pure and utterly holy, it's scary how dirty and wicked I felt in His presence. But He gives the same purity to those who repent from following their own ways. I could no longer defile what is His--my body, His temple--with drugs, porn, free sex and other sexual sins, theft, lies. Jesus healed me of hypoglycemia, anxieties, depression, addiction. He also took away the effects of early childhood sexual trauma. That is what happens when you meet Jesus, He changes people who genuinely want to know the truth. I never thought much of it when my old roommate (who was gay) would cuddle with me in bed, but now I understood that Jesus is not pleased with such things.

Homosexuality is a very difficult topic to talk about. People who did not learn these things from Jesus Himself, criticize non-heterosexuals due to traditionally held beliefs, or because of their own fears or prejudices (or just plain hatred). That is a terrible thing to be doing and those people are self righteous because they think they are doing God a favor by hurting His children. Because of Adam's sin nature, humans have no choice what demons they are born with or acquire shortly after birth (Aside: They do have a choice when they are grown up though: either to get delivered from the demons through Jesus' Name, or to be controlled by them even more). Therefore, some people are born with predispositions to panic attacks, some tend to give in to suicidal thoughts planted by the enemy, some crave sexual relations with much younger (pedophilia) partners, and yet some, become led by homosexual desires. Sexual promiscuity, rebellion, pride, fear, the list is endless. Only Jesus can set us free from our spiritual baggage.

The Good news, is that God is patiently and lovingly waiting for people to humble themselves, and to cry out to Him to be set free from their sins and demons. People have to approach God, fully surrendered to His will for their lives (it sounds scary, but He created you for greatness!).
This is a spiritual phenomenon and I experienced it myself. I didn't read about it or learn it from anybody else. I know for a fact that there are entities that can alter our cognitive patterns and behavior, seed ideas (intrusive thoughts), etc. Only Jesus sets free from all such interactions. Because I went through it, I talk from experience, otherwise I wouldn't bother.
I thought I would share this and hopefully this will give you a new vantage point on life. Keep this in mind for the future. Ask Jesus Christ to reveal Himself to you directly, and to confirm what I'm saying here.

Vadim Lazarev

Born Into Sin, and Then Born Again Into Jesus Christ.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

When people say "God made me this way" (referring to their gender or sexual preferences) they don't understand 3 things:

1) We live in the fallen, broken, and diseased world — the consequences of mankind’s disobedience in Eden. We are born into the polluted prison of sin, far from perfection of God. “Indeed, I was guilty when I was born; I was sinful when my mother conceived me,” writes the Psalmist (Psalm 51:5). Takeaway: Things that God created, are now corrupted.

2) Before making Jesus Christ Lord of our lives, our immediate authority here on Earth, is the “god of this world,” namely, satan (aka the devil) (2 Corinthians 4:4). Surprised? "The devil, leading [Jesus] up on a high mountain, showed Him all the kingdoms of the world in a moment of time. The devil said to Him, “I will give you all this authority and their glory, for it has been delivered to me, and I give it to whomever I want. If you therefore will worship before me, it will all be yours” (Luke 4-5:7). “The god of this world,” manipulates people who do not belong to God (2 Corinthians 4:4), and “the whole world is under the control of the evil one” (1 John 5:19). Takeaway: This world is controlled by the enemy of humanity.

3) God made known to humans His will and what is right, and everything that is contrary to this is in one way or another perversion of that perfection. God created man and woman to be in a commited life-long relationship which produces offspring (Genesis 1:27-28). Jesus said: “Haven’t you read that He who made them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother, and shall be joined to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh?’ So that they are no more two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, don’t let man tear apart. . . .I tell you that whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and he who marries her when she is divorced commits adultery” (Matthew 19:5-9). Take away: Being single = good. A man and woman being married = also good. Everything else is perversion of perfection.

I was hopelessly addicted to many forms of sexual perversion from my early youth, until Jesus Christ set me free. He took away numerous addictions and anxieties, and He gave me a new personality and inner peace. That change was so profound that even 15 years afterwards (as of 2024), I am still in awe of His love for me. I did not choose to be a sexual deviant, the demonic realm influenced me into things that hurt the Father, and I simply did not know any better. This condition is systemic to all of humanity and apart from Jesus Christ, we cannot break free on our own.

Some would say that our sexual identity is sealed at birth, and nothing about our subsequent behavior or preferences has any bearing or effect on it, but they totally misunderstand the power of Jesus Christ, and the mandatory process of “being born again”. The whole point of being born again is being renewed, transformed, and to no longer be controlled by the old sinful nature! Unless we become born again, we cannot enter the Kingdom Of Heaven! “Jesus replied, ‘Very truly I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God unless they are born again’” (John 3:3). This is what distinguishes people from those who have been set free from the sinful nature and have become followers of Christ. “Jesus answered them, ‘Truly, truly, I say to you, everyone who practices sin is a slave to sin. . .So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed’” (John 8–34,36). Jesus Christ shatters all demonic strongholds in a person’s life when they come before Him, expressing a desire to turn away from their sin and to be made new. This is how much the Father loves us, that He sent His Son to set us free from the things that control us from birth and yet leave us empty and unsatisfied.

The good news: Father God did not make a mistake by putting us here into the midst of wars, famines, violence, and confusion, because He provided a way to reunite the willing with Himself, and also, to set them free from the compulsion to sin — all through Jesus Christ. It is imperative to understand, that without Jesus the Messiah, we are controlled by sin, and sin is endemic to our nature.

God does not condemn people to Hell, and that is precisely why we are given an amazing gift — an opportunity to be freed from all demonic interaction, the things that manipulate our thinking and urges. The choice is ours. God is loving, and is patiently waiting for us to come to our senses and to repent. But, “God is a consuming fire” as well, and He will not tolerate anyone continually and willfully sinning after being set free (Hebrews 12:29). Even though “God loves everybody” with an inexpressible tenderness and passion, He will not give eternal life to those who did not reciprocate that love. Those who repent of their previous lifestyles of sin and plead Jesus Christ to set them free and to make them renewed, God will certainly not turn away.

We are all born into a life of sin, misery, and emptiness. The acts of heterosexual infidelity/adultery, homosexuality, pedophilia, bestiality and other sexually immoral things are identified as sinful throughout the bible, but the reason might not be obvious to somebody who hasn’t been changed by God.

It takes true love to warn fellow human beings of the impending terrible judgment, and God’s expectations. Some mistakenly think that loving others means accepting and condoning their sin, but in reality we are warned to not even keep company with people who believe in God, but who do not obey His instructions: “But now I am writing to you that you must not associate with anyone who claims to be a brother or sister but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or slanderer, a drunkard or swindler. Do not even eat with such people” (1 Corinthians 5:11). Where is the love in that? Sounds so judgmental. To love somebody, means wishing them the best and doing everything humanly possible to help them physically, and also spiritually. Love does not mean being spineless and acquiescing to the works of darkness. “Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God” (1 Corinthians 6:9). Jesus Christ sets free from all of these spiritual chains so there is no excuse.

It is important to be stated, that practicing religious rites, liturgies, or ceremonies cannot possibly set you free. Your pastor, imam, rabbi, priest, cannot make you right with God. We have to experience God directly. We all know of historical Jesus Christ, but we must meet Him one on one, and we must be changed by Him. There is no substitute for this. Many people are just being religious, practicing the “faith” of their household.

“Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father who is in heaven will enter. Many will say to Me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, and in Your name cast out demons, and in Your name perform many miracles?’ And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; DEPART FROM ME, YOU WHO PRACTICE LAWLESSNESS’” (Matthew 7:21-23).

Much love in Christ.
Vadim Lazarev.

How to Break Out of Cycles of Disappointment and Defeat.

Many people think that to feel complete, they must accomplish this or that particular task or goal. The list is huge and can include things like insistence on owning specific brands (food, clothes, auto, etc), needing a specific relationship, belonging to a subculture/club/organization, forcing an unnatural physical appearance (anywhere from looking punk rock to the extremes of gender reassignment), taking mind altering drugs, etc. These temporary divergences and detours mask the true fulfillment which occurs when Jesus Christ transforms the old-broken-sinful state into a new, beautiful, and grateful creation. Jesus Christ sets free from demonic influence. The born-again know that their joy and peace comes from Jesus Christ, and they share that testimony with others. They are able to recognize the futile cycles of expectation, disappointment, and defeat that are so prevalent in the world today. Humans are hard-wired to desire the next new thing, but outside of God, their desires will never be satisfied.

If you are not content today, but instead feel emptiness or uneasiness in your life (or perhaps you haven't even pondered these things yet), go to Jesus Christ. He says “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” Matthew 11:28-30.

Without Jesus Christ, we will never be happy with our natural selves.

Vadim Lazarev.

Part 1: I am sick. (27 Nov 2022)

“Come, let us return to Yahweh.
He has torn us to pieces
but He will heal us;
He has injured us
but He will bind up our wounds” - Hosea 6:1

As I write this, my abdomen near the liver is throbbing with pressure. My brain feels exhausted and foggy like a biggest hangover of a lifetime, though I have not drank any alcohol and slept restfully for 9 hours. My memory is so bad at times, that once I’ve even googled an address scribbled on a note, only to find out that it was the address that I recently moved to. It happens that by the time I finish reading a sentence, I have already forgotten what the first part was about. Engineering work that I used to love has become an unbearable burden. How did I get this way? Why isn’t God helping me?? Is God to blame for this?

Everyone, when going through sickness, begins searching for answers. People consult medical doctors, explore the holistic/herbal/traditional route, modify their lifestyle (diet, nutrition, rest), and also begin to seek answers from God. This is also where I find myself today: countless studies read, herbs taken, medical tests & lab panels performed, professionals consulted, and prayers prayed. After 5 years of suffering, I am beginning to understand the BIG “why” behind my health condition.

I had an amazing born again experience in 2009 (that I write about on this website). I felt like a different person the next day, free from addiction and anxieties and aware of God’s presence to the point that I was scared to sin. I stayed that way for many years, but with time things began to cool off and became more distant between me and God. He wasn’t my top priority. Instead, things like university homework, electronic hobby projects, research of world events, internships, and gardening took up so much time that there was hardly any more time to pray; or read the Bible; or go witness to people about Jesus in public, or work on this website; or help the needy. I also became powerless against sin in my life (article here).

I was angry with God. Like, yelling out load kind of angry. He must have liked watching me suffer, I thought. Why was I suffering when I was on His side for the last 8 years, actually testifying for Him in public!! I prayed, and I searched to understand for several years. And I fasted for days at a time. And helpful people sent me articles and sermons and encouragement that said God prunes every fruitful tree, and that God will chastise every son and daughter that He calls, and that God expects complete obedience to His instructions. I began to realize how I gradually stepped back from the once thriving relationship with God: my prayer time which was once hours(!) dwindled to a few sleepy minutes before bed time. The people and places that He sent me to in order to testify, I refused, suppressing the “still, quiet voice” with doubt and excuses. Even this website lay abandoned for 5 years, filling up with digital cobwebs.

Today (2024) I am striving to walk humbly with the Lord and trying to understand His will for me with renewed enthusiasm. I want to learn how to genuinely love Him and not just be motivated to obey God because of fear of punishment and hell. And of course, I want to be healthy again. But it was sickness that brought me to my knees. Sickness was the tool that God used to show me my mortal limits, His authority, and my need for Him now and in eternity (timelessness). In 2009 He allowed me to experience being born-again and that event drastically changed the course of my life. Today, I look forward to being healthy and living with purpose and service to God—a new lease on life, if you will.

We live in the framework of spiritual (and physical) laws setup by Yahweh—it’s His creative design! He has revealed much about His character and loving intentions towards us in the Bible, and also our role and purpose. It is our responsibility to read and understand the scripture and obey the Holy Spirit, because these lead to blessings and eternal life that He has prepared for us!

Part II: Healing comes. (To be continued, in God’s timing.)

Vadim Lazarev.

Overcoming sin, temptation, addiction, demonic pressure (17 Sep 2023)

Background:

After I experienced being born again, I felt a lot of things were lifted off me the next day: anxieties, depression, addiction to pornography, cussing/swearing, and marijuana usage. I also quit drinking for good measure. From that point, I had a new awareness of God’s presence, and for many years I was afraid to sin. I would also spend the first months and years as a new Christian devoted to bible reading and spending lots of time with Jesus, in prayer, in His presence.

The change for worse:

But gradually, life began to be more demanding of my time: more university coursework, more side projects, more gardening, more of this and more of that. Being around computers a large part of my day for work/fun/school, I also began noticing a pattern where I would be searching for items on Google images, and then clicking on occasional images that were not entirely wholesome. The algorithm was quick to recommend similar unwholesome images. It wasn’t porn, but at times it was pretty close. And tragically, I was powerless to stop. Despite my best efforts and promises to God (and myself) that I’d stop, I would continue to be irrationally compelled to repeat this pattern again and again.

What went wrong:

By that time in my life, my meetings with God dwindled to a few sleepy minutes at the end of very exhausting days. I remember I would get on my knees near the edge of the bed, and in just minutes I would be drifting off to sleep, in that very knelt position. I still very much considered myself Christian in every way, but the fruit of my life’s work started showing signs of spoilage.

The solution:

Thankfully, God sent helpful videos and messages into my life that made it absolutely clear that spending quality time with God every day was non-negotiable (for me it was an hour minimum). After failing a couple of more times, and having received more instruction and encouragement, I started prioritizing spending time with the Lord. Slowly, by the power of the Holy Spirit, I overcame temptation to sin. I am no longer compelled to do what I do not want to do.

Conclusion:

You might be in the same situation right now, as I was: hating yourself for returning back to your sin (2 Peter 2:22, Proverbs 26:11) and feeling powerless to overcome; feeling like a hypocrite. The solution is time with Jesus every day. He gives power to overcome sin. We have to be connected to Him, like a vine, in order to bear good fruit and to be overcomers. Restart that relationship with Him today.

Vadim Lazarev.

Power of Persistence (03 Nov 2024)

We as humans, have an innate ability to accomplish whatever we put our mind to.
“Yahweh said, ‘...nothing they plan to do will be impossible for them’" (Genesis 11:6).
For example, it takes a really long time to build a company, or a social movement, or to create an innovation such as the telescope, or the transistor. But humans CAN and do eventually obtain what they set their minds on.
And if this works for secular goals, how much more for spiritual ones!
God actually wants us to succeed and to win in life, so it says in James 4:8, “Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you”.
Spiritual progress often seems slow and invisible, but this is where a habit/routine is very helpful.
As you spend time with God every day (praying, praising, and reading the bible) you will begin noticing subtle signs of your spiritual growth: overcoming stubborn sins & addictions, increase in fruits of the spirit (love, joy, peace, etc), health, success, discovering your purpose, understanding the secrets behind how the world operates, satisfaction in serving others, and uncovering the meaning of life.
With time, the voice of God becomes more clearer.

Vadim Lazarev.